Friday, January 1, 2010

Why Change is Easier For Some People and Almost Always Hard for Others

Why is it that some people surpass obstacles, thrive and go on to enjoy a life that brings them satisfaction and happiness while others stay stalled or see life as unfair?

I've seen first hand how life remains an adventure for individuals who have challenging personal situations while others, with no obvious obstacles, stay stalled or feel pessimistic about their life. I have a family member whose wife has been steadily going downhill from the the deliberating illness of MS yet he remains upbeat and focuses on where life gives back to him. He stays engaged with the areas of his life that feed and nurture him---work, parenting, hobbies, community while tending to his wife's needs. He knows what lies ahead but somehow he has this unshakable belief in the value of living. He's adapted, accepted and changed to meet this challenge so that he's up to the challenge and up for his life as well.

Recently, I watched the animated Disney-Pixar comedy adventure "Up" about a 78-year old man who ties balloons to his house to fly away in order to save it, with an eight year old stowaway aboard. The film is charming, full of adventure for the oldster who thought he'd missed out on adventures only to discover he wasn't seeing the daily ones he was always having. He was able to look back with new eyes and see what life had given him and in doing so, he found a new spirit of adventure for the rest of his life.

It's a good reminder of how life is an adventure if you're not blinded to all the incredible experiences that await you when you open you mind and heart to seeing with a different view. It's not a small task to change how you think and take responsibility for your choices but it is almost always the best choice because life waits for no one. It almost always come down to a conscious choice to grow and learn despite challenging situations, circumstances or obstacles. What determines that consciousness has to do with letting go of fear and feeling supported by life.

Where do you want to make changes in your life? What would you life look like if you saw it as an adventure? Who are you without your fears?

Is it time to change how you're looking at your life? Are you up for it?

"Life is either a great adventure or nothing." Helen Keller


Sunday, August 2, 2009

Plants, cats, houses and more

I've been watering plants for friends who are away so this sweltering heat doesn't do them in. This week a friend is backpacking in Alaska so I'm hiking to her house daily to feed her cat.

I'm catching up with many old and new friends, writing again and really enjoying a deeper space of appreciating my life. Lots of folks are struggling with jobs, money and relationships and I have my own challenges there but I decided to give fear a vacation. When I feel that hopeless vacuum of same old, same old or clutching panic of how will I make this work, I breathe and ask myself what belief is running me. The fact that I feel gripping fear or hollow hope directs me to examine what I'm thinking.

Try it. Next time you feel any negative emotion, stop, breathe through it and write down what you are thinking. Here are four questions to ask:
1) Is it absolutely true?
2) How do I feel when I think this thought?
3) How would I feel without this thought?
4) Mirror back the thought by making it about you.

These questions are The Work, by Bryon Katie. This simple approach helps you see how your thinking is faulty.

You will see some immediate results that open up your energy to move out of that old stagnant space and make better choices. It Works!

Until next time,


Saturday, June 27, 2009

Hi, friends,

I've made previous attempts to blog before today but now I'm feeling eager to begin again and blog regularly. Maybe because I have a great group of friends within and it seems right to send my thoughts and ramblings out to the ethers. I hope you enjoy visiting my blog to read the positive, encouraging messages I intend to send.

I listening to a favorite Internet radio show,, today and it was about living deliberate by being aware of what you're doing with yourself. Are you operating by default based on family patterns or have you replaced them with new ways that work better for you now that you're adult? You'll know the answer to this by the nature of your personal and work relationships. Are they easy or are they energy drains? Communicating deliberately can transform your relationships and the first step is noticing what you're doing.

It does take courage to fearlessly look at your patterns and make changes. I started checking in with what I was feeling in my body when I found myself in a heated conversation. Becoming aware is the first step to changing any situation, be it a tough boss or a passive spouse. As we get good at knowing our default way of showing up, we learn (hopefully quickly) that the people who push our buttons are helping us to learn something important.

As you might have guessed, I am a coach and I love helping others find their steps to making changes so they can create real happiness and fulfillment, one moment at a time.

Thanks for visiting.